Its been a while...

Yeah!!!
exactly...its really been a while since I came back from Indonesia last Monday which on da 28th of July but arrived here on da 29th of July coz my flight was nite flight, so I reached here in da morning...OoO....
damn...u noe wad???
since I came back here, I almost lost contact with him...
Its not bcoz I dont want to contact him,its just bcoz...I donno...really donno how to describe such feeling....damn hurt...
I donno whether he really ever be in a serious relationship like this...
but,yet, I also donno whether he takes this seriously or not...
I never noe....
I did asked him...but he always answers me in da same sentence which says that he really cares of me and loves me that much...
I barely couldnt believe each of his words anymore...
At da very first time I accepted this relationship, I really tried to trust him...and I made it...
I really trusted him without any doubt...but??
wad did I get??nothing still...
he still be mean to me...yes,I noe he's not totally be mean,maybe I havent understand enough his personality so I never noe his purpose by doing all of this...
I donno...I really donno...but da most important thing dat u hv to noe...
I really care of him and I never expect anything difficult from him...its true...
Da only thing I want is, he noes how to appreciate someone that loves him dat much...
I want him to cherish me as wad I am suppose to get...Its normal if a girlfriend expect such thing to his boyfriend,,rite???she just wants to be treated like wad has he promised her in da past time...nothing more...really...
and u noe wad???I really really miss him dat much rite now...
I noe its just a couple of weeks ago since I met him...but,I really want to see him rite now...
I want to hug him as wad I always do to him...
please..I beg u,faster come back...
I really need you to be here rite now...
I miss you...
I noe ure having fun over there..but,please its ur time to come back here...
I donno wad uve been thinking...
u said u miss me..but wads da fact??
U always take ur mother as an excuse for not allowing you to come back..
but,I noe deep inside ur heart, u dont expect to come back,rite??
huff...
I still couldnt fully believe in u,Im sorry...
u hv hurt me too deep and u yet havent prove ur words to me..
Im still waiting here...
I cant simply love someone else...
dats my big problem rite now..
still need u dat much...huff....