I feel damn lonely rite now...

Lonely???
Y do I have to feel that way??
I dont like to b lonely...
but...seriously...
my heart...is extremely lonely nowadays...
I tot I could bear with all da loneliness...
but, apparently...I couldnt....
Its just freaked me out...
I miss him a lot...
everytime I feel that way...
da one that I always think about is...HIM...
donno y have to be him...
its clearly to me that bcoz I do still care about him...
I just couldnt forget him totally...
n let 'em flow just in that way...
Oh...its suckss...
I hv a lot of assignments to do..
yet..I still couldnt focus in my work...
y???Y me??
Y u just couldnt let me be with him till da time is really over???
its just suffering me to think about him all da fucking time I had...
urgh....fucking assignments...
pleasee....go awayyy....

uhuhuhuhuhu....miss him...

Y do I have to feel this way??
I'm trying not to think bout him too much...
let all our memories flow to da place that I will never remember again...
but...
everytime, I try...I'll remember more...
wad am I supposed to do??
his face and all his stuff just pass through my mind every minute...
damn him...seriously...
I keep comparing him to other guys, even myself noe that he's not that good actually...
he never cherish da time while we still together, he never cherish wad he had...
Yet...I'm still loving him with all my heart...
donno when I will forget all da things bout him...
maybe somedae...
yeah...maybe somedae...
Oh...pleasee.....let 'em flow immediately...
suffer me all da time....

PartY...PartY..PartY....M.O.S again??haha...

HuH...nano2 bangett d...

damn...
knp c sama gua???
kq tb2 keinget lge??
kq tb2 rasa sayang itu ad lge ya??
damn...u...
gua msh ga bs lupain dy totally ternyata...
knp ya??
pdhl dy ga pernah hargain gua...
knp rasa itu ttp ad c d diri gua??
please....
let it flow...please....
gua msh ga bs trm sapa2 d diri gua...
msh mao sama dy...
terpaksa...
maaf gua ud boong ma diri gua ndiri...
krn gua ga mao d sakitin n dboongin mulu...
mkna gua milih putus...
gua ga tw dy ngapaen d sana...
so...putus aj...
gua jg ud boong ma dy ttg co..
itu jg maaf ya klo nyakitin...
damn...hrs tahan ma rasa ini..
gua tau gua pst bs ngelewatin ini...

Ingat kamu...STILL...kpn ya lupa na???

Apakah Ini Namanya Cinta
Begitu Membingungkan
Aku Ini Sedang Jatuh Cinta
Kutanyakan Mengapa Hatiku Resah
Hatiku Gundah Semuanya Jadi Serba Salah

Aku Mau Makan Kuingat Kamu
Aku Mau Tidur Juga Kuingat Kamu
Aku Mau Pergi Kuingat Kamu
Ooo Cinta Mengapa Semua Serba Kamu

Aku Sedang Bingung Kuingat Kamu
Aku Sedang Sedih Juga Ingat Kamu
Aku Sedang Bosan Kuingat Kamu
Ooo Cinta Inikah Bila Ku Jatuh
Jatuh Cinta ...

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Hatiku Resah, Hatiku Gundah
Semuanya Jadi Serba Salah

Aku Mau Makan Kuingat Kamu
Aku Mau Tidur Juga Kuingat Kamu
Aku Mau Pergi Kuingat Kamu
Ooo Cinta Mengapa Semua Serba Kamu

Aku Sedang Bingung Kuingat Kamu
Aku Sedang Sedih Juga Kuingat Kamu
Aku Sedang Bosan Kuingat Kamu
Ooo Cinta Inikah Bila Ku Jatuh
Jatuh Cinta...

Kucoba untuk cari jalan

Karena ku hilangkan semua bosan

Tapi kenapa wajahmu slalu

Datang mengganggu...

Apakah Ini Namanya Cinta
Begitu Membingungkan

DonT EvA BlamE Ur fAuLT oN mE...!!!

please...
sapa yg buat gua ninggalin dy???
gua ga salah...
gua mang msh sayang..
tp sapa jg yg kuat klo d perlakukan kek gini truz...???
seharian bs Ga dcarii....
dcuekin...
sms kdg2 doank...
bales na cmn berapa kalii...
klo mang gua ga curiga ma dy...
tp, bs aj dong gua merasa dy ud ga sayang...
mn ad co yg sayang ma ce na, tp bs seharian d kacanginn gt???
mikir dong pake otak...
gua yg td na sayang bgtt mpe bs berkurang rasa sayang na ke dy...
gr2 ap cb??
gr2 dy ndiri...
dy yg buat gua ninggalin dy...
ini semua bukan salah gua...
gua cmn mencoba menyelesaikan hal2 yg gua rasa ngegantung n ga jelas...
tp, knp at da end...malah jd kek begini??
gua msh berhrp gua bs jd tmn lge ma dy...
n bkn yg dendam2 an kek gini...
nyakitin bgtt....
anggap gua yg salah...tp, sapa yg mulai???
mikir na gt aj d...
sakitt d gituin....

dugh...kq sedih lge ya??

adoii...
kq gua tb2 ke inget dy ya???
bnr2 d...
hati gua ga enak bgt d...
rasa na pengen d tangisin keluar, tp...
ga bs...!!!!!
tp, bnr2 keinget dy bgt tb2...
dugh....
gua td k subang c...
gua pkir gua ud lupain dy...
tau2 na pas ud dsana...
parah gila keinget na...
menit2 terakhir yg gua spent brg dy 3 mgg yg lalu msh jelas bgtt d pikiran gua....
anjrot!!!
damn...
pleasee.......
gua mang ga mao ngelupain....
tp, bnr2 keingett na parah gila....
ya ud d...
let it flow aj...
bae2 ya dsana...mur...

M.O.S........14/09/08

Nothing to sae...
da pics reveal everything...
its very obvious where were we dat moment...
haha...
all Indonesian except my korean besties...haha...

damn...its just freaked me out...

Hmm...
hari ini...bnr2 hr terburuk gua...
ga nyangka gua bkl end up ma dy gini cpt...
gua pikir mgkn bkl bertahan sebulan lge or gmn...
haha...
baru 2 mgg cuy...
baru aj 6 bulanan...
pas d 6 bulan jadian, pts...huehue....
gmn ya feeling gua skrg???
blom sedih c...
tau d kpn sdh na...
untung na ga kek yg pts ptm kali...
kek ud mo matii...
skrg gua ud take it easy n pikir positif aj...
bkn salah gua bs end up kek gini...
dy ga nyari gua donk, gua bs d kacangin seharian...
gua ud ga marah tuh...
gua tahan...
tp lm2 aneh jg...
masa jadian to bs ga dcari...
buset da...
sibuk mpe sgitu na ya??
haha...
bull shit...
ud terlalu skt gua mpe mati rasa....
gua moe ga bs ngs lge...
krnud nangis terlalu bnyk buat dy...
ga tw napa...msh ngerasa aneh aj...
gua ngerasa dy mang pengen pts sbnr na...
cmn mgkn dy ga enak ma gua..
mkna dy kek ngg in gua ptsin...
haha...
gua pikir bkl dy yg dumped gua...
tp, tau2 na end up na kek gini...
huehue...
tenang aj...gua ga akan benci dy kq..
malah rasa sayang gua ud brubah jd rasa sayang ke temen...
mgkn ini mang yg terbae buat kt b2 kali ya...
Mur..jgn d pernah d maenin lge ma ce ya..
loe bljr yg bnr dsna...gua tau jkt enak...jgn maen molo...
jgn jd bandel...haha...saying this for myself maybe...haha...
hmm...
ya...mgkn gua mang ad boong dkt ma dy...
ga ad co laen dlm hdp gua skrg...
gua msh sayang sbnr na...
tp, ya udin larh...
dy yg cuekin gua...
gua jg bkn ce yg akn ngejer2 blk co yg ud ga sayang ma gua kn
?
loe pikir gua ce murahan yg ngejer2in co??
please...haha...
ya uda larh ya...
skt atiii ga akan lama kq..
even gua tau ap yg boong n ap yg bnr...
gua bnr2 wish da best for ya...
mgkn kt mang ga jodoh,mkna susah bgt buat brg2...
mudah2 an loe bahagia ya dsana...
see you when I see you...
love him still...

T.E.R.S.E.R.A.H.

Jangan kau ganggu hidupku lagi
Sudah jelas kini yang kau mau
Kau sakiti hati ini 'tuk kesekian kali

Dimana arti sebuah kesetiaan
Bila hanya dalam kata-kata

Ku coba untuk bertahan
Namun aku tak sanggup
Sungguh tak mampu, sayangku...

Terserah kali ini
Sungguh aku tak ‘kan perduli
Ku tak sanggup lagi
Jalani cinta denganmu
Biarkan ku sendiri
Tanpa bayang-bayangmu lagi


Ku tak sanggup lagi
Mulai kini s’mua terserah...

Dimana arti sebuah kesetiaan
Bila hanya dalam kata-kata
Ku coba untuk bertahan
Namun aku tak sanggup

Terserah kali ini
Sungguh aku tak ‘kan perduli
Ku tak sanggup lagi
Jalani cinta denganmu
Biarkan ku sendiri
Tanpa bayang-bayangmu lagi

Ku tak sanggup lagi

11/09/08

HuH...
6 months we ve been together...
todae is da dae where we started to love for each other...
donno whether he's gonna remember it or not...
thanks dat u might be still loving me till now...
6 months??
wad a long time weve been through...
huff...
missing u sometimes...
but..I really wont give u a damn...

uitz...ga nyangka...

hmm...
adoii...pengen na ga mikirin...
pagi, siang, sore bisaa...knp c...when it comes to nite...
semua na lgsg ke inget gt aj???
sumpritttt....ga nyangka...
selama 5 bulan...tgl brp hari lge...mo 6 bln...
ptm kali na dy seharian penuh ga nyari gua...
bnr2 d kacangin gua...
hmm...
ya uda d...
speechless...
skt na ud mpe k dalem2...
dalem bgtt...mpe lubuk kali ya...
LoL...
bocor d...
ga nyangka aj...
setiap kt2 yg ud keluar dr mulut dy selama ini, ternyata cmn BULL SHIT...
n aneh na gua simply believe in him...
n tertipu mpe tahap ini..wtf???
n lge...gua bnr2 salut ma dy...
bgt bnyk yg ud kt lewatin brg2 selama ini...
ga mpe 2 mgg...ga nyampe 2 mgg...
kurang dr seminggu malah....
dy ud lupa...n kek na ga ad feeling gt...
gua ga nyari, dy jg ga pedulii....
dulu mn gini...gua ga nyarii, dy pst yg bkl telp, sms blg khawatir...
skrg???
makac ya ud giniin gua...
gila...
sakit na parahh...keterlaluan....
loe org ptm yg ud nyakitin gua mpe kek gini...
bnr2 damn u...
gua ga akan pernah lupa ma org yg prnah nyakitin gua kek gini...
asal dy tau aj...
gua emang bs idup ga ad dy...
gua sedih bkn krn dy ninggalin gua or stuff yg berhub ma gituan...
but...yg bikin gua sedih na mpe begini ntu...
gr2 gua bnr2 ga nyangka....dy bs brubah gt cptt....tanpa mikir blk ap yg prnh dy janjiin ke gua...
dy yg ga mo pts...krn dy, gua jalanin hub yg susah na ud mo bikin gua sengsara kek gini...
ap hasil na???
janji sayang dy semua na FAKE!!!!!
gua ga tw...ce2 bs suka ma dy, gr2 ap na ya??
termasuk gua....
tampang n duid na mgkn...
haha...
hdp cmn bermodalkan itu 2???
kesian...
gua kesiannn ma dyy...
tkt aj st hari d bls ma yg d atas...
klo st hari kena karma na...
gua mst gmn ngeliat dy ya???
tau d...
tp, tenang aj...gua ga mgkn ketawa kq...
cmn gua ksh tampang plg kesian gua ke dy...
hehe...
bae2 ya jlnin kehidupan loe dsana...
gua ga akan nyari loe lge...
ga akn....
anggap aj gua ga pernah ad buat loe...
n ga pernah exist d khdpan loe...
gua ga peduliii....ud terlalu skttt....
tau kn rasa na ???
loe kn pernah d sakitin ma org yg plg loe sayang...
itu rasa na...kek gitu...
malah mgkn lbh sakit dr ap yg loe rasain...
coz I lophe u more than wad u felt last time...
HuH...
salah sayang orang...
God... please lead me to da way Im supposed to be...
Its not my world...n will not be....

Hmmphhh....

semua na terserah kamu aj ya...
aku ud nyerah...
feel like so free now...
thanks 4 everything...
TERSERAH....

cant believe...

Ya ampun...
gua ga nyangka bgtt akhiran na bkl kek gini...
baru 10 hari dy d jkt aj hub kt ud kek gini...
bnr d...bkn na gua yg mkr na mcm2 molo...
tp gua bnr2 ga kuat ma sifat cuek na...
gua ksh dy wkt buat dy brubah spt ap yg dy mnta...
tp dy bnr2 cuek bgtt...
gile...skt gua klo lge ngobrol ma dy d telp...
dy mang dgrin gua ngmg ap...dy bls jg gua ngmg ap...
tp kek na dy ga betah ngmg ma gua lm2...
knp ya dy brubah bgt cpt...
pdhl baru dsn 10 hari lho,,,,
skt bgt gua skrg...tiap rie ngg in kbr na...
tp dy dsana kek na nyante aj ga ad kbr dr gua...
please...gmn donk...???
pusing...
setiap kali gua ajak dy ngmg serius. dy selalu males bahas...
n blg na guayg mkr mcm2...
ya ampoen, ce mn yg ga mkr mcm2, klo kenyataan na ntu mang bs aj kek gt, klo dy nyadar bgt perubahan co na ke diri na...
pleasee...
knp c dy ga ju2r aj klo mang dy ud ga sayang...
gua gpp kq...
gua jg ga mao klo dy jadian ma gua, cmn berdasarkan rsa ga enak mtsin gua...
gua ga butuh rsa kasian...
yg gua butuh rasa sayang dy...
dy bae ma gua slalu cmn st hari...
itu pun mgkn cmn sbntar...
gua pengen bgt dy balik ke hari kamis d mn loe baru nyampe jkt....
loe msh inget dy bgt n loe bnr2 ga cuekkin gua bgtt...
itu keliatan bgtt klo dy msh sayang ma gua...
gua kerasa....tp dlm sekejap mata aj dy ud lgsg brubah...
janji ma gua malem itu, klo dy bkl tuz ngbrin gua duluan...
tp, malah ad st wkt, gua ngg in kbr dy seharian, dy mlh ga ngbrin jg...
n pas dtanya, mlh blg, loe jg ga ngbrin...
ya ampoen...gmn cb??
pdhl gua bnr2 ud pcy sm semua kt2 na dy...
sms2 dy yg msh prtahanin gua utk ttp jd ce na even kt jauh...
ptm na gua mang ga bs...tp dy yg yakinin gua spy kt ga pts...
tp...nyata na...dy mpe d sana...dy bs ngilang2 tb2...
gua ngertii kdg2 klo gr2 signal...
tp, please...ga mgkn seharian jg kn???
sumpeh skt bgtt....
mending klo ud setaun...baru 10 hari aj ud begini....
gmn nanti???guaud ga d anggep kalii...
ya ud d...yg tabah aj..
gua yakin Tuhan ad jln buat gua...
mgkn klo mang bukan sama dy, gua bkl dpt yg 100 kali lbh baik dr dy...
Tuhan adil...dy ga akan biarin hamba na susah tuz...
pst ad hikmah dr semua na...gua yakin...
thanks 4 everything...
Lophe u n U...

Feel like a dummy....

Ga tw napa...
gua kek ad feeling lge d boongin...
knp begitu ya???
God!!damn...
pleasee....
gua ga mao kek gijni tuzz.....
semua kemungkinan muncul d otak gua skrg...
binun bgttt.....
kdg bnr2 pengen ngakirin...
tp kdg msh ngerasa beratt...
adoi...
gua binun....
sakit na parahhh klo mikir gua kek lge d boongin...
damn u....

Expecting something...

Please...
gua bnr2 bhrp semua janji2 dy ke gua, bukan cmn janji sehari...
Dy pernah blg ma gua klo dy bkl brubah, gua pcy n please dont just change in one day...
gua ga pengen berantem tuz ma dy, tp ga tau napa, dy aneh...
Dy msh pengen ljtin ini ma gua, but he seems not working in our relationship...
ntu yg gua liat n gua rasakan...
Dy cuek bgttt utk jd seorang co...
speechless again....
gua brhrp jg, dy ga akan sia2 in rasa sayang yg ud gua ksh selama ini...
please...
jgn tuz kek gini...
gua ga akan pertahanin dy klo gua ud ga sayang dy...
co kek dy gua bs ktm bnyk dsini...
tp, rasa sayang ga akan bs dtg gt aj...
susah bgt buat gua bs sayang ma seseorg...
really donno wad to sae...
ga tw knp...excuse2 dy k gua selama ini slalu bikin gua ragu..
its just too stupid to be an excuse...
this wad I felt...
sorri 4 being too doubtful to him...
gua cmn mrsa dy kek males smsan ma gua...
ga tw knp gua bs ngerasa gt...
ga mgkn ngmg ma dy kek gt, coz pst end up na berantem...
better just keep it by myself...
suddenly wanna release myself out from this huge prob...
its such like a big DAMN to me...

wad a weird stuff to see...!!!shocked...LoL...

There some weird stuff that we never even noticed b4...Such as :
Weird LooKing Electric guitar...
Weird House...looks like it located in Japan...
Weird accident...wad da f***??how come a huge smiley face could just fall on da top of da car n broke it into half...LoL...
Weird car...How come it could just broke through da wall as wad in da pic on da top...It clearly stated no parking over there...haha...kdg2 sometimes d dunia...LoL...
Another weird car...wad da heckk???haha..
it could be stuck on da top of da roof of somebody's house...
haha...pity that owner...LoL...
Weird massage...haha...oh My Gosh!!!!I dont even dare to touch snakes n apparently, there;s such things like massage by snakes???I think I wont be doing that for my entire life...
Weird place...HuH??smoking sports in Germany-train stations...haha...hey you, who like smoking so much...just build one inside ur house...or where eva it could be...it will be great, I believe...
WoW!!!weird toilet...such a huge toilet bowl...It is in Korea...wah!!!nice...I would like to go there somedae...LoL...
UrgH!!!wad a weird person to see...how come he can be so hairy???weirdoo...LoL..
WoW!!another good stuff to see...wad??which airport has this casino place??haha...who likes gambling??haha...but, its for u to take luggage,guys...
Oh!!GoD!!!My comp PC....!!!u use it as a barbecue grill???R u guys insane???luckily...its not mine...then, whose??pity da owner, but if its broken, then nothing to sae,huh???but, quite creative...hehe...